What Is The Problem?


Think of 5 married couples you know. Imagine them in your head, standing in a line, facing you. Smiling faces. Holding the hands of their spouses. Now, take one of those couples away. This is the reality of marriage in Kosciusko County, Indiana. Roughly one out of every five marriages in this area has ended in separation or divorce. That may not sound like a lot, but it amounts to more than 6000 people, living right here in our neighborhoods. Not Easily Broken exists to see this number dwindle. Whether that involves preempting the problems that might surface in a marriage through our premarital program, helping maintain quality, satisfaction, and commitment in our marriage program, or building supportive communities through our families program, (all 3 of which we'll discuss more on Wednesday) we're dedicated to the success and longevity of marriage and family relationships.

And let's make no mistake, marriage and family are deeply intertwined. The majority of divorces involve children, which means hundreds, maybe even thousands of kids in Kosciusko County alone are watching their parents' relationships fall apart. Now, for some of you, akin to my wife and ministry partner, Carly – what I just said is all you need to know. Thousands of people, our friends, coworkers, kids in our schools, are living with the pain of brokenness in their homes every day. You’re asking, “Where do I sign on to help with this?” We'll get to that in more detail on Friday. For now, if you want more info, skip down to the bottom and click the "I Want to Help" button.

Others of you need the stats. I get it. There are so many different problems facing so many different people. You need to know, "what does this particular issue actually look like for these people?" Well, here you go: Child poverty is significantly more likely in households with divorced or unmarried parents, and 40% of all kids experience divorce before they reach adulthood. Less than 20% of divorced people and only 15% of separated people describe themselves as happy. People getting married today have, on average, a 40 to 50% chance of getting divorced. One 2010 study shows that relationships among people without college degrees are growing increasingly unstable and unhappy, which accounts for roughly 60% of Kosciusko County citizens. Divorced individuals are, on average, not likely to live as long as married individuals, more likely to be problem drinkers, less likely to have successful careers, less likely to have children who experience academic success and emotional stability.

Before we wrap up this post, let us clarify that we know these statistics are just that - stats. They're numbers, averages, and they do not and cannot reflect accurately the individual experiences of every single divorced or separated person. We completely understand that behind every broken relationship there's a story, maybe even a couple of stories. We do not, in any way, intend to reduce those stories to a statistic. What we are trying to communicate is that divorce and separation are life events that affect dozens, hundreds, even thousands of people we know and love right here in our community, often in difficult, painful, and complex ways - they tend to make people less happy, make their kids' lives harder, and decrease their likelihood of success in other areas of life.

There are resources available to help. We just want to be one of them. Click below to find out more about how we do that, and keep your eyes out for tomorrow's post, available to read at noon.

Paul MoralesComment